Understanding Hagar’s World; Concubine, Wife, & Household Structures
There are situations where someone can do something and not be wrong. They have the legal right or authority to act, yet it still causes harm. Hagar lives inside that tension. The Bible calls her Sarai’s maidservant, not a slave. It sounds softer, almost more humane. It doesn’t take long to realize that “maidservant” is […]
The Promises in the Wilderness
You can be living a life you didn’t choose and still feel like you’re the one who did something wrong. You can be doing everything you’re supposed to do; showing up, caring for people, holding things together—and still carrying a quiet sense that something isn’t right inside you. When you look around, it can feel […]
Indispensable Isn’t the Same as Wanted
It is well past 5:00 pm. Everyone else in the office has gone home. You’re still at your desk. You could delegate it. You know someone else could handle it, even though they should. But the idea of someone else touching it makes your chest tighten. It’s easier to stay. It feels safer to control […]
Perfectionism: The Most Respected Form of Self-Sabotage
Perfectionism: The Most Respected Form of Self-Sabotage It may surprise you to learn that perfectionism can be a subconscious barrier to happiness. Rather than motivating growth, perfectionism often functions as an Upper Limits Problem, quietly keeping you from experiencing satisfaction, joy, or rest. Perfectionism operates like a prison of rules and regulations. It is governed […]
When Success Feels Like Betrayal: Family, Identity, and the Fear of Outgrowing Your Roots
When Success Feels Like Betrayal: Family, Identity, and the Fear of Outgrowing Your Roots You may carry a deep-seated belief that you don’t deserve to be happy or successful. When good things come your way, success can create an internal conflict with a self-image shaped around feeling fundamentally flawed. For many people, the family bond […]
Upper Limits, the Internal Thermostat and Self-Sabotage
Upper Limits, the Internal Thermostat, and Self-Sabotage Resetting your internal thermostat takes ongoing effort. Inside your brain is an emotional regulator that works much like a happiness thermostat. When you start “heating up” with too much joy, success, or love, this system can kick in to “cool you down” through negative thoughts or self-sabotaging behaviors. […]
Why Am I Afraid to Be Happy?
Why Am I Afraid to Be Happy? This may sound strange, but being happy can feel hard. When you haven’t had much experience with happiness, it doesn’t feel normal. Even when things get better, contentment can feel uncomfortable. Being happy can feel vulnerable—even scary. In the past, when you let your guard down, something bad […]